Chapter 11. Good Intentions

eleri bundled Sabina into her carrying sling, nestling the sleepy babe against her breast as she prepared for her daily walk to visit Morisedd before the noontide meal.  She looped a woven shoulder pouch containing sweetbread over her head.  She had cajoled it from one of the cooks and tucked it under her elbow. 

Murdi had to rely on the charity of his guild and friends to ensure he was fed and clothed. Teleri had seen to his housing, procuring a small tent for him and bedding as well.  The pain of his loss was now etched on his lean features and he had a wild look about him.  Their visits were tense and often silent.  A chasm had opened between them and she ached for her brother, almost as if he had died and left behind an angry ghost.

“Never mind, my little one, we’ll make him come around.  He can’t stay angry forever.”

Sabina was already asleep and Teleri paused to admire her beautiful daughter.  Her chubby little features were delicate as porcelain and her russet hair was growing in thick and luxuriant and soft as down.  She saw a little of Pendaran in her hair and green eyes, but also herself in the child’s delicate lips and dimpled cheeks.  She kissed her daughter’s brow lovingly, withdrawing slowly when the babe made a soft mewling sound before nodding back to sleep.

“Oh, there you are,” Teleri said, drawn from her reverie by Pendaran entering their home and closing the door slowly behind him.  It amused her how careful he was to make no sound in case it woke their daughter.  He strode into their bedroom and smiled upon her.  Teleri sidled up to him and leaned back into his embrace, enjoying the feel of his arms curled around mother and daughter. 

“Hello,” he said after pecking her playfully on the lips.  Teleri grinned and leaned her head against his shoulder, savoring this moment of complete happiness and contentment. 

“I love my pretty mesmer,” she whispered against his throat, “What are you up to?”

He chuckled and he playfully rocked her and Sabina fondly.  He was such a gentle creature beneath his reserved and quiet mien and she adored him for that. 

“I just finished working with Mabane and now I am going to sparring practice.”

“How are his letters?”

Pendaran coughed, hesitating.

“We do letters in the afternoon.”

Teleri felt her hackles rising and then forced herself to be calm.  She had vowed not to treat Pendaran harshly any more.  Shikai had explained to her it only made him more inclined to lie.  Still, he must have sensed her ire for his arms tensed around her as he braced for one of her storms.  Teleri sighed, wishing she could take back all the times she had screamed at him or cast him out.  She kissed his cheek to reassure him.

“I am teaching him basic mind techniques,” he said, tensing for her protest.

“I see.  And you don’t think he’s too young for that?”

Pendaran swallowed and squeezed her, more to reassure himself than her.  She had not lost her temper but she was frightened by the idea of Mabane diving into magic while so young and vulnerable.  Yet Pendaran was a good father to her son and Mabane adored him so.  She wanted to trust that he knew what was best.

“Normally, yes, I would agree, but Lyssa gazed upon him early.  He experienced Torment.  Anything I can do to give him confidence in his ability to protect himself will help with his nightmares.”

“What about your nightmares?” she murmured, recalling how she had held him last night while he wept and shuddered in her arms until she was able to wake him.  Teleri hated to see him suffer like that and did not want to imagine what he must have endured to have such dreams haunting him.  He kissed her apologetically.

“That is why I am sparring every day.  Xiang Yi thinks it will help me rest and overcome my sense entrapment.”

“I’d better let you get to it, then,” she said, smiling up at him.  Gods, she wished there was something she could do to help him, he did not deserve to suffer so.  He squeezed her tightly and she turned around to kiss him, this time lingering for a moment to playfully nibble his lower lip.  He blushed in his charming way and released her, going to the wardrobe to lay out his padded leathers and bracers on the bed.

“Have fun,” she said.

“Thanks,” he chuckled sardonically.  He had never enjoyed combat, but it was a rigor Zhou had demanded of him and so he had obeyed.

Teleri left him to his preparations and trod happily toward the postern gate with the warmth of the sun washing over her crown and shoulders.  Her golden hair was gathered into a lush tail and it fluttered like a banner in the breeze flowing up off the sparkling azure sea.  It was good to be outside in her element.  She could not wait to take up a bow again and hunt for wild game.

She delighted in the feel of the springy loam beneath her booted feet, her step sure and strong as it was before her pregnancy.  The air was potent with the smells of life as the damp leaf litter moldered upon the forest floor.  Soon she saw Melandru’s image emerge from the deep green shadows of the forest and she hurried down the slope, a smile rising to her lips.  On cue, Morisedd stepped from the shadows and nodded to her.  Today he looked a little less grim and his dark brown hair was drawn back tidily into a long tail that flowed down his back.  For once he was without his bow and she thought she detected just the faintest trace of a smile upon his lips.

“Murdi!” she said happily, embracing him around his waist lovingly and glad that for once he did not try to evade her.  Instead, he wrapped his arms around her.  He even kissed her brow, genuinely glad to see her for a change.

“Hello, Teleri,” he murmured, releasing her gently, and then gazing at the bundle resting against her breast.

“I brought your niece today.”

For a moment he hesitated, backing away a step and she detected his old enmity.  Sabina would never be his niece, he had once told her, she was Pendaran’s spawn.  Those words still burned in her memory, cruel and painful.  Teleri felt suddenly protective of the babe and shielded her with her arms, wishing she had left her child in the care of a servant.  It was too soon.

But Morisedd smiled apologetically and came back.

“Let me see her.”

Teleri’s maternal instincts cried out to keep the child from him, but she carefully drew back the cloth of the sling to reveal Sabina’s pretty little face with her russet ringlets and the faint perpetual smile of her delicate mouth.  A small sigh escaped Morisedd’s lips and his expression softened.  She remembered the first time he had seen Mabane and how he had melted.  He reached out a rough hand to stroke the babe’s downy hair and chuckled softly when Sabina chortled sleepily in response.

“She is beautiful,” he murmured, “Your nose and lips.  Does she have your pretty eyes as well?”

Teleri hesitated, not wanting to draw any similarities to Pendaran.  She wanted Murdi to love his niece and eventually let go of his hatred for her husband.

“You charmer,” she laughed, “Of course her eyes are pretty.  I brought you some sweet bread and I’ll get a bowl of stew for you later.”

Morisedd nodded and gestured for her to come sit on the edge of the shrine with him.  For a moment they both gazed upon the dappled sunlight that filtered through the trees and listened to the chatter of birdsong.  Then, remembering her primary reason for coming, she fished the carefully wrapped bread from her shoulder pouch and gave it to him.  He thanked her and broke off a piece, offering her some before he ate it.  She could tell he was trying not to wolf it down.  He had to be hungry without anything to eat all morning.

“I’m glad you are in a better mood today,” she said.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think and pray.”

Teleri nodded.  No doubt that had been Swyno’s intention in punishing Murdi this way.

“I have been horrible to you and your husband.  I am sorry.”

Teleri swallowed, unexpected tears brimming her eyes.

“I… I want to talk to Pendaran, man to man.  To apologize to him.”

“Oh Murdi, that’s wonderful.”

“Would you tell him to come talk to me this evening?”

“Sure, we’ll come right after supper…”

“… No… What I want to say to him I wish to say to him alone.  It is hard for me.  You know I am proud.”

“Alright,” Teleri said, smiling at him, her heart swelling with love for her brother, “I’ll send him to see you with your supper.  He is a good man, I hope you can see that now.”

“Yes,” Morisedd replied stiffly, “Thank you.”