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rigit was relieved when Lemony showed up at her door. The little monk was positively bubbling over with delight. It was good to see her smiling once more. It gave Brigit hope that she would feel the same one day.
“I have a favor to ask of you and Army,” Lemony blurted as she ducked inside, her eyes round and earnest as she cast around the little sitting room to make sure both were present, “Where is he?”
“Tea?” Brigit asked, motioning Lemony to come over and sit down to share the noon meal. When she had not left the apartment to attend the communal lunch in the great hall, the servants had brought it to her instead. Perhaps because she was feeling particularly alone, the gesture had moved her. It was an added bonus to have someone with whom to share it. She assumed one of the servants must have said something to the little monk.
“Please tell me he hasn’t left you,” Lemony pleaded upon noting there was only crockery to accommodate one, “I couldn’t bear it, not with Zhou being parted from Shikai as well.”
Brigit nearly dropped the dark glazed teapot but somehow recovered with only a minor spill. She tipped the rice into the soup and used its empty bowl for her portion and let Lemony use the stout tea cup.
“We’re still friends, Lem. I hope Zhou and Shikai are alright,” she said, hoping to steer the topic away from her own difficult relationship with Armand.
They had not quarreled this time, not like the night when she had left in disgust. Despite the initial passion of their reunion, Brigit could not let go of her disappointment and the two of them had dwelt apart since that angry night. Brigit accepted that the wants and needs of one were not compatible with those of the other. She was a creature of duty, not only to her guild mates and her long time friends, but to her true nature. Balthazar had chosen her and it was wrong to deny that. The role of a warrior in his most sacred rites and liturgies was to protect her people and stand fast against evil.
While she would never understand those touched by that strange and contradictory deity, Lyssa, she believed Armand was following his path with the same level of sincerity. He had spoken of the old festivals his family had attended in which beauty and joy were the rites they performed in her honor. He had wept in parting, wishing she could see that his duty to restore such things to their sundered world was equally as important, otherwise there was nothing worth protecting. And because she loved him, something that was indeed sacred to his goddess, she had to concede and let him go.
The worst of it was her fretting over losing him for good once he was back with his circus friends. They had said goodbye and yet she was still clinging to the hope he would change his mind. Of course, she told herself, a man that gorgeous and intelligent would not have to look far for someone prettier and less demanding than she. Or for one that did not have crazy parents that had already preordained the time and place of their wedding and the required number of grandchildren. If she were Armand perhaps she would run, too.
As for Zhou and Shikai, it was difficult not to overhear the gossip circulating around the guild and the sad pitying glances people made whenever Master Bei went past. It was part of the reason she had remained isolated. Was it asking too much to leave the poor man alone? She did not want pity and she doubted he did, either. Why did love have to be so complicated and painful?
“Brigit?” Lemony asked, bringing her back to reality. The little monk’s hand clasped her fingers, child-like next to her coarse calloused paw. Gods be damned, now she was crying. A mournful look seized Lemony’s face and she rose and wrapped her arms around Brigit. Unable to protest, she broke down and cried.
“It’s alright, Lem, honest. We’re still friends.”
“It’s not alright if you’re crying,” Lemony said, a note of anger in her voice, “You’re hurt and you’re making excuses for someone who doesn’t want to grow up.”
Brigit was stunned. It was the harshest thing she had ever heard Lemony say about anyone she considered a friend.
“No, that’s not true,” Brigit replied, drying her eyes, “We just realized that it isn’t meant to be. I told him to go back to the circus because that was where he belonged and would be happiest.”
“You’ve seen the worst that love can do to someone while taking care of Teleri, and Armand’s seen the worst that death can do. So quit now while you’re ahead is what I reckon is going on,” Lemony stated.
Brigit was flabbergasted.
“What was I supposed to do? They’re like cats, Lem, you can’t pen them up. I didn’t want him to leave,” Brigit protested.
Lemony’s normally cheerful demeanor was all seriousness now as their eyes met.
“Of course not, Brigit. I’m sorry… I guess I just feel sad when I see you dismissing your feelings as if you have no right to them. I know he meant the world to you. I’m sorry.”
For a time neither of them spoke. Lemony stayed beside her, both of her little hands wrapped around Brigit’s left until the storm passed. By that time the soup was cooled and the tea was tepid. Her appetite was miserable in any event, so it hardly mattered.
“So he just went back to the circus? Not coming back?” Lemony asked.
Brigit shrugged.
“He said he’d visit once they had finished for the winter. I told him not to worry about me. When things have settled here, I will go home to help my kin. They need me and I can’t drag him there. It’s a harsh place and he’s not meant for that.”
“Did he tell you that?” Lemony asked, frowning.
“No, of course not.”
“Could he have interpreted what you said not as a kindness, but as a request that he give up?”
“Maybe,” Brigit sighed.
Lemony smoothed the tear-soaked strands of fiery hair from Brigit’s face.
“Next time, just tell him what you want.”
“But there won’t be a next time now.”
Lemony shrugged.
“He was on his way down to the dock to see Mog a few minutes ago.”
“What? But he left hours ago… went back to Cantha to catch up with Pirunel. Are you sure it was him?”
“Yeah, he asked me where I could find Mog while I was on my way here.”
Lemony had barely finished speaking before Brigit was back on her feet and heading for the door. Then she stopped and gazed back at the monk.
“I’m sorry… I’m a terrible friend. What was the favor you wanted?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll ask again another time.”
Brigit was a little puzzled, particularly now that Lemony seemed so sad and resigned when moments before she had been bursting with enthusiasm. Still, such was her urgency to find Armand she decided to push aside that concern for now and revisit it later. It amazed her how perceptive the little monk could be at times.
She rushed outside of her rooms to the narrow corridor and took the stairs down two at a time. As she neared the entrance she saw the top of Mog’s head outside the long bank of windows that lined the small entry hall walls. She paused a few times in her approach and watched as if mystified by the wind tousling his ginger hair and the nod of his head that suggested he was having a heated discussion. Without thinking she moved toward the windows and gazed down on the two men. The level of the hall’s floor and the window sill allowed her to watch them undetected and she ducked behind the narrow patch of supporting wall and the curtains between each open window.
“Don’ be getting’ snide wi’ me, Army. It wer’nt me idea.”
“You always say things like that. Don’t you even hear what you sound like? You’re one of them, now.”
“Maybe I like bein’ one o’ them.”
Armand snorted.
“Sure you do. After all, they left your brother’s corpse out to rot and tormented his spirit to find their unlucky friend.”
Mog recoiled in pain and looked away.
“We’ve been through a lot together, I know how this mus’ seem t’ yeh… “
“It seems to me that you’re going soft in the head. What in the name of the Five Gods are you doing consorting with that demon?”
Mog sighed, his shoulders slumped and his gaunt face lined with grief.
“Nuthin’ I say will make a lick o’ difference, will it? Yeh wan’ me t’ ignore me heart because yours is broken an’ it weren’t workin’ too well before that if yeh ask me. It needed breakin’ if only t’ let in a l’il compassion, an’ that’s th’ honest truth.”
“Fine, stay here then, and die for the ungrateful fools.”
“Yeh don’ mean that Army an’ yeh knows it. Yer hurt n’ yer bein’ a child abou’ it.”
“Yeah I’m hurt, and I wasn’t a jerk to you when Belenus chased off Dotty, either, so don’t you be one to me.”
“I don’ wan t’ fight with yeh, lad. I’m yer friend, remember? I’m sure Brigit still loves yeh. Th’ gel is mad fer yeh. If she told yeh t’ leave maybeh she were thinkin’ it was what yeh wanted.”
“She chose this bunch of losers over me. Fine, I’ll leave.”
“Wha’ does tha’ make me if I choose to stay?” Mog asked and Brigit saw a gleam of anger flash in the tall mesmer’s eyes.
“I guess it means I move on and we’re not friends.”
“Now yeh wan’ me to make th’ same choice as Brigit? Yer not playin’ fair. Yeh feel no gratitude or e’en a l’il desire t’ give back somethin’ when they’ve lost so much? What abou’ th’ way they helped yeh? Who saved yeh off o’ tha’ island?”
“Nice use of guilt there, Mog, but you’ll need to try harder next time.”
It was like watching a play. Armand turned and started to walk off stage and Mog, weary and clearly overcome with grief, finally lost his composure.
“You are a miserable selfish little pig,” Mog snarled at him in perfectly enunciated Ascalonian, “Go then. It takes a much bigger man to apologize and admit he is wrong. I mistook you for someone who had honor and integrity.”
Armand froze. If he had hackles they would no doubt have been raised. His normally pale face was now an exquisite shade of red and an inchoate rage burned in his eyes.
“I get it now. You play the buffoon so well because you are one.”
Both of them were stock still, fists clenched with murderous expressions. Brigit wondered how two such stubborn men had become friends in the first place given how long this fight must have been festering between them. A magenta glow swirled around Armand’s form as his hatred boiled over into a potent spell. Mog’s eyes widened in recognition and horror.
Before she could do or say anything, Armand fell back with a cry, the spell dying on his lips. Mog, riveted in place, could only look on with an expression of shock and betrayal. Zhou closed the gap between them, his black robes swirling violently and betraying the anger that his face did not show as he placed himself between the two men.
“You will not fight members of my alliance upon these grounds,” Zhou snapped at Armand.
Now it was Armand who looked shocked and horrified.
“I’m sorry, Mog. I don’t know what got into me.”
Zhou folded his arms, his eyes boring into Armand for evidence that his command would be obeyed.
“That’s th’ problem, lad. Nothin’ gets in, not e’en when love is poundin’ on th’ door.”
“I want you off of this island before my boat sails,” Zhou said coldly. Armand flinched as if he had been slapped. Master Bei, however only shook his head and walked away.
“I guess I finally wore out his patience,” Armand murmured, lowering his face in shame.
“Wore out? Yeh drilled holes through it and shat on it. How could yeh e’en think abou’ hexin’ me after all we been through?”
Armand now looked as if he had just awakened from a nightmare. A mixture of horror and sadness deepened the lines of his face and he bowed his head.
“Gods, I’m sorry, Mog. I don’t want you getting tangled up in this. I am scared and I’m upset that Brigit let me go so easily. I know this sounds stupid, but sometimes I wonder if there’s someone else she loves and I’m turning into this poor compliant sap who will do anything for her.”
There were tears gleaming upon his face but he was too proud to acknowledge they existed by wiping them away. Brigit ached for him, wishing she could reach through his stubborn shell and make him realize how much he was loved.
“Army, what has she demanded of yeh that yeh weren’t eager t’ give?”
Brigit flushed with embarrassment, feeling like a wicked spy and intruder upon their world.
“Nothing really.”
“Stay with me,” she said, “Is that too much?”
Both men looked up at her in the window. Mog contrived to look both shocked and amused while Armand was horrified.
“Since Pirunel fired me,” Armand said, “I guess it’s not too much.”
“Will it ever be?” she asked, and when he did not flinch from her gaze, she knew he was speaking the truth.
“Only when you desire me to leave.”
“And what’s this about a demon?” she demanded, looking at Mog.
“It were Lemmy’s idea and I din’t bind her nor consort wi’ no demon. It’s Aramathxes ‘n she’s goin’ t’ guide the boat to Penny lad for the cost o’ a song.”
“Oh gods,” Armand sighed, rolling his eyes, “It’s like something out of one of your ridiculous stories.”
“Aye, one I made up, no less.”
“And Lemony convinced you to… play…summon … whatever… Aramathxes because of it?”
Mog chuckled.
“I told her it were true an’ yeh know how th’ lass is. She gets an idea in her head an’ tha’s jus’ how it’s gonna be.”
“Yeah, I think the usual term for that is insane,” snorted Armand. When Mog glared at him he fell short of laughing, “What?”
“She’s wiser n’ yeh know. Now kiss n’ make up. Yer comin’ with me on th’ boat.”
“I’m not kissing you,” Armand protested, mischief sparkling through his tears.
“Yer insuff’rable. Yeh know who I meant.”
“What about Zhou?” Brigit said, “He’s not going to want Armand on that boat.”
“He said off the island,” Armand replied, “He didn’t say how.”
“I’m coming, too,” Brigit said. Armand opened his mouth to protest, thought better of it and then nodded.
“Yeah, of course. We’re in this together from now on.”
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